All I Ever Wanted
by HermioneHecate
Summary: Horatio meets Yelina for the first time and falls deeply in love. Will he be able to hold back his feelings for his brother's sake or will he succumb to her irresistable charm?
1. Chapter 1

New York City – December 13, 1990

Turning over to face the woman lying next to him, Horatio Caine smiled at his companion as he ran his fingers through her thick brown curly hair. When she smiled back, he wished more than anything that this were more than a one-time occasion.

"Good morning," the exotic female voice whispered.

"How are you feeling?" Horatio asked the one woman he wished he could have for all time.

She hummed softly. "My head hurts a little."

"I'm sorry," Horatio said as he kissed her on her forehead.

"Not your fault," she said, closing her eyes. "I'm blaming it on the drinks from last night."

Horatio chuckled. "Are we going to be okay? I mean, from here on out? This…this changes everything, you know."

"I know," she said quietly.

Three days earlier…

As he put the final signature on the final separation form he would ever have to sign, Horatio drew a deep sigh of relief. The tumultuous past three years had been enough for his now ex-wife Diane, who had finally grown tired of the job and needed to be free from the lonely nights without her husband to fall asleep with. Horatio wanted for her to be happy, so they amicably decided upon divorce.

"Are you okay?" Diane asked the new bachelor.

"If you are," Horatio replied. "Still friends?"

Diane smiled. "Of course. When are you going to pick up Raymond from the airport?"

"In a couple of hours," Horatio said. "He's bringing his fiancee. What timing; just as I sign my last divorce paper, he's bringing someone he's about to start a new life with."

"This is for the best," Diane said. "I'm just not fit to be a cop's wife. Some women can pull it off. I can't, Horatio."

"As long as we're still friends, I'm alright with this. You have to admit, though, three years of marriage is pretty damn good for a cop."

Diane nodded. "I'll see you around, Horatio. Take care."

"You too," Horatio replied as he shut the door behind her. Once he was certain that she was far from earshot, he slowly sat down on the floor and let his head lean up against the door as tears stained his face.

"Goodbye," he sobbed.

----------

"Horatio!" Raymond yelled from above the crowd gathered at the arrivals gate.

Horatio nodded and headed over to where Raymond stood, although he still couldn't at that point pick out his fiancee.

"How have you been, little brother?" Horatio inquired, opening his arms for a welcoming hug.

"Busy," Raymond laughed, returning the gesture with a bear hug.

"So…where is this fiancee you've been talking about for months now?"

Raymond chuckled as he turned toward the striking Latina who stood next to him. "Horatio, this is Yelina Salas, my fiancee."

Horatio stood without words for a few seconds until her extended hand broke the silence. "Oh, uh, pleased to meet you, Yelina," Horatio said, taking her hand in a shake. He could feel his cheeks red with embarrassment.

Yelina smiled. "The pleasure's all mine," she said, grinning a sly grin.

As he continued to shake her hand, Horatio felt his heart begin to race and his breathing becoming more laboured. He wasn't sure of whether it was his little brother bringing a future wife to meet him on the day he signed his divorce papers or something else, but Horatio knew for a fact that Yelina Salas was quite possibly the most beautiful woman he had ever gazed upon. It was then that he wanted to burst into tears right in the middle of the airport, for he came to the dreaded realisation that, although she would soon become one of the family, she wouldn't be with him.


	2. Chapter 2

"So, big brother, have there been any big snowstorms this year?" Raymond asked as he unlocked the hotel room that him and Yelina would be staying at.

Horatio sensed that Raymond was desperately trying to engage in any kind of small talk, for the ride to their hotel was plagued with an uncomfortable silence. Living so close to work meant an easy walk for Horatio and thus eliminated the need for a car. However, sitting next to two betrothed-to-bes in a cab was quite taxing on his comfort zone, especially considering the woman who had won over his fancy in such a way that no one else had on that very day was sitting quite close to him. When he saw Raymond's hand slip into Yelina's though, Horatio's heart sank, confining him to the sad silence that would grip him for the rest of the cab ride.

"Well," Horatio mustered, "nothing big has hit, although the weatherman said that there's a possibility for some snow in a few days. They don't know yet if there will be a lot, though."

"I hope I'm here when it does snow," Yelina added, her voice sending pangs of desire through Horatio's heart. "I've never seen it in person."

"When it's not a nuisance," Horatio said, looking right into her sparkling eyes, "it's…quite a sight to see."

Yelina smiled. "I bet it is."

----------

After dropping luggage off in the hotel room, the three proceeded over to Horatio's apartment, a quaint and elegantly outfitted one bedroom dwelling that immediately won over Yelina's fancy.

"Horatio, this is quite an apartment," Yelina said.

"Thank you, although some of this was my ex-wife's work."

Yelina regarded him with sad eyes. "I heard about the separation. I'm sorry, Horatio."

Horatio smiled a faint smile. "It's alright. It was for the best."

Raymond's attempt at lightening up the mood interrupted the brief yet intensely emotional conversation Yelina and Horatio were engaged in.

"I don't know about you two, but I'm starving. What's good to eat around here?"

"Ray, you used to live here," Horatio said, a little angry that Raymond interrupted the euphoria he was experiencing during his conversation with Yelina.

"I know, but it's been awhile. I couldn't quite possibly remember everything about this city, you know."

"There's a nice little Italian restaurant a few blocks down. Diane and I used to eat there all the time."

"Sounds great," Raymond said. "May I use your restroom, Horatio? I've been holding it in since our plane landed."

Horatio pointed to his room. "In there," he replied quietly. When he heard the bathroom door close, Horatio turned to face Yelina.

"So…how do you like New York so far?" he said smiling.

"It's very large," Yelina replied. "It seems unlikely that you could do everything you wanted in just one day."

Horatio chuckled. "I've lived here all my life and I still haven't done everything."

Yelina smiled. "Have you been down to Miami?"

"Once, when I helped Ray move his stuff down there."

"How did you like it?"

"It has…an exotic and sexy attitude."

"Why don't you move down there, then? It must be awfully lonely here sometimes when you're not on the job."

"I've thought of moving once or twice just to get away from the bad memories."

Yelina's smile turned into a frown. "I wouldn't want to stay in a place that brought up so much pain, either."

Horatio could think of nothing else to do but gently nod. Yelina could sense that she touched upon a sensitive subject.

"Horatio? Are you okay?"

Horatio smiled a sad smile. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Yelina put her hand on his upper arm and rubbed it gently, sending a knotty feeling in his stomach. "I'm sorry if I reminded you of what happened."

"Don't be. I'm reminded every day of it."

Yelina nodded as Raymond reappeared. "You guys ready?" he asked.

"Absolutely…I'm starving," Horatio replied, wishing that Yelina wouldn't release her hand from his arm.

----------

Opening the cab door for Raymond and Yelina, Horatio was the last to get in. He took his seat next to Yelina, who sat in the middle. He was glad that the three of them were crowded together in the back seat, for Yelina's leg rubbing against his made his heart race and his cheeks redden. When she nonchalantly glanced over in his direction and saw that he wasn't shying away from the close contact, she couldn't help but smile at the man sitting next to her who turned into a bumbling teenager when she was nearby.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, as heavy clouds began to form overhead, Horatio headed over to Raymond and Yelina's hotel room; he thought that it would be fun to take them to the precinct station he worked at and show them around.

When Yelina answered his knock at the door, however, the look on her face spelled a complication.

"Yelina, what's wrong?" Horatio asked, concerned.

"It's Raymond. I think he has the flu."

Horatio walked into the hotel room and saw Raymond sitting up in bed.

"Yelina, it's just a little cold. I don't even have all of the symptoms of flu."

"How are you so sure?" Yelina asked. "Maybe it's the onset of flu."

"Just let me lie here for today and see if I get any better. Horatio, you can show her around. I don't want her cooped up in here all day."

"But Raymond, I'm worried."

"Don't be. I'll be fine sweetheart."

Yelina conceded yet was still unconvinced that Raymond was okay. "Alright, but if you're worse tomorrow, we're going to the doctor."

Raymond threw his hands up. "Fine, fine."

Horatio couldn't help but laugh. "You want us to get you something while we're out, Ray?"

"Yeah, some beer would be great," Raymond said laughing. Yelina put her hands on her hips.

"You'll be getting soup and you'll like it," Yelina said half-serious. Horatio grinned.

----------

"Your co-workers at the station seem to be fun people," Yelina said as they walked through Central Park.

"They're half the reason I've stayed here this long," Horatio replied.

Yelina nodded. "I still think you should come to Miami."

Horatio smiled. "We'll see."

As they continued down the sidewalk, the air started to get colder as the clouds continued to creep over the city. Yelina slipped her arm through Horatio's and inched closer to his body. Horatio, panicking over the fact that his brother's fiancée had just done what she did, looked over to see that she was looking straight ahead.

"Uh…Yelina…"

Yelina finally looked up at him, her cheeks reddening over the cooling air. When she saw what she had done, she quickly pulled her arm back and wrapped it over her other arm, embarrassed. "Sorry," she muttered.

Horatio, kicking himself for making her do that, stopped. "No, you're alright. I…I was just wondering…why you did that."

Yelina turned to face him. "I don't know…I was cold, I guess. Why? Did you think I did it for any other reason?"

"Well, I uh…I…"

Yelina inched closer to where Horatio stood. "Did I make you nervous?"

Horatio's heart began to beat faster. "Well, I…not really…I uh…"

Yelina smiled. "You're too cute, Horatio."

Horatio gave her a puzzled look. "I beg your pardon?"

"The way you turn into this nervous bumbling boy when you're around me…I just think it's cute."

Horatio turned red in embarrassment and ducked his head. "Well, can you blame me?"

Yelina inched even closer. "What are you insinuating, Horatio?"

"That…that…"

Yelina smiled as she put a finger over Horatio's lips to silence him. "Shh. You don't have to say anything else."

"I…I…"

"See what I mean," Yelina said as she started to walk away.

Horatio stood there for a moment in an attempt to regain normal breathing then ran to catch up with her.

"Wait a second, Yelina," Horatio said as he grabbed her arm. "What are _you _insinuating?"

Yelina smiled as if she were clueless. "I don't know," she said as she continued walking.

Horatio gave up and walked alongside her.

Yelina once again slipped her arm through his.

"What? I'm still cold," was all she could say in her defense when Horatio looked at her, demanding an explanation. However, when a snowflake fell on Yelina's nose, her joyous shriek broke the tension between the two.

"Horatio, it's snowing!"

"You'll get to see it snow after all," Horatio said as Yelina broke free to look up at the now steady stream of snowflakes falling upon them.

"Oh, this is beautiful," she said as she looked at the flakes that fell onto her bare hand.

Horatio, suddenly concerned that Yelina wasn't wearing mittens, offered the pair in his jacket pocket.

"Are you kidding?" Yelina replied. "I don't need gloves."

"Well, at least take my jacket," Horatio said as he took his off and put it around her shoulders. Yelina turned her head to take in his manly scent.

"So warm. Thank you Horatio."

Horatio smiled. "I don't want you to end up in the same boat as Ray."

Yelina giggled. "But what about you? You'll get sick."

"I'll be fine," Horatio tried to reassure her.

"No you won't," Yelina argued as she put the jacket back on Horatio. "I was fine earlier."

"Yelina," Horatio said as Yelina once again slipped her arm through his. He knew he wouldn't win this one, and continued down the sidewalk with her closely in tow. Eventually she rested her head against his shoulder, but he was too taken in by the majestic scene being painted by the snow that he allowed for it to happen with no objection.


	4. Chapter 4

The snow continued to fall with the arrival of night, much to the delight of Yelina, who continued to admire the scene from a window in Horatio's living room.

Horatio couldn't help but smile as he made hot soup for Raymond in the kitchen, occasionally sneaking peeks at Yelina in awe of the steady fall of snow. When he had finished, he walked over to where she sat and quietly joined her.

"It's so beautiful," Yelina whispered once she realised that Horatio was sitting next to her.

Horatio hummed in approval. "I got my first kiss in the snow."

Yelina smiled as she turned her head to look at him. "Did she kiss you or did you kiss her?"

"I kissed her," Horatio said. "Unfortunately, we just ended our relationship."

"Your wife...she was your first love?"

"She was," Horatio replied. "She was the only one for a time."

Yelina nodded, trying not to suspect anything.

"I'm sorry," she muttered. "I know it must be hard for you and all..."

"No worries," Horatio said. "She couldn't live with the job, you know?"

Yelina nodded again and quickly changed the subject. "It's so nice of you to make soup for your brother."

Horatio smiled. "He's the only family I have left."

"For now," Yelina replied, smiling a sly smirk.

Horatio's heart, however, sank once the words finally hit him and he ducked his head, for he knew that she would soon become his sister-in-law and nothing else. Yelina's smirk turned into a frown once she realised that something was wrong with Horatio, but she already knew what it was and once again changed the subject. She felt as though she hurt him every time she touched upon a sensitive subject.

"So...how much longer do you think it will snow?" Yelina asked.

"It could last for days," Horatio quietly replied as he slowly raised his head back up. "Hopefully there won't be a blizzard or else you and Raymond could get stuck in New York until it's safe to fly out."

"I wouldn't mind," Yelina said. "I still haven't done everything here."

Horatio smiled and got up to get the soup ready to take over to Raymond.

"Will you be fine here tonight by yourself?" Yelina asked.

"Of course," Horatio said with a puzzled look on his face. "Are you concerned that I won't be?"

"A little," Yelina replied. "I was worried about you last night too."

"If it's because I'm freshly divorced, you have nothing to worry about. We're still friends, which is all right with me."

Yelina felt somewhat relieved. "That's good."

Horatio bagged the thermos of soup and grabbed his house keys. "We should get this over to Raymond before it gets too cold."

----------

Raymond was quite grateful for his brother's kindness, for his condition was the same since Horatio and Yelina left earlier that day and warm homemade soup hit the spot.

"Big brother sure knows how to make good soup," Raymond proclaimed gleefully.

"Have you seen all the snow that's fallen?" Horatio asked of his brother.

"I've been watching the news," Raymond replied. "They're saying we could have a blizzard."

A serious expression on Horatio's face hid his inner rapture. He could have a bit more time with Yelina before she was taken forever. He would have to make the most of it, however, so he quickly suggested another day running around the city before a blizzard could hit.

"Oh Horatio that sounds wonderful," Yelina exclaimed. "But what about Raymond? He's going to miss everything if he doesn't get any better."

"I lived here long enough to know where everything is," Raymond said. "This is your first time in the city, honey. If you want to go sightseeing, who am I to stop you?"

Yelina smiled a girlish smile and landed a quick peck on Raymond's lips, much to the sinking of Horatio's heart.

"Oh, thank you Raymond," Yelina replied. "I'm sorry if you don't get to come with us."

"It's all right," Raymond said. "As long as you are happy, it's all right with me."

Horatio broke the happy moment between the young couple. "If you don't mind, I'm going back to my place before it gets any colder."

Yelina smiled a sympathetic smile toward Horatio's direction. "Good night, Horatio."

Horatio flashed a small smile back. "Good night you two. I'll see you tomorrow."

After Horatio walked out of the room, Yelina walked over to a table that sat near the door to put the thermos there when she noticed Horatio's house keys lying next to his gloves.

"Oh dear," Yelina exclaimed.

"What is it, honey?" Raymond asked.

"Horatio's forgotten his keys and gloves. I'm going to try to catch him before he gets a cab."

"Better hurry," Raymond said, "he's probably already outside trying to hail a cab now."

By the time Raymond finished his sentence, however, Yelina had already made her way to an elevator, hoping she wasn't too late. When she ran out of the lobby, she saw Horatio fumbling around in his coat pockets.

Yelina called for him, still out of breath from running to catch up with him. When Horatio turned around to find the source of the exhausted voice, he found a panting Yelina standing at the steps of the hotel front, holding up his keys and gloves. He ran over to her.

"Oh, thank you so much, Yelina," Horatio said. "I don't know what I would've done without your keen eye."

Yelina didn't respond but instead handed the keys back to Horatio with a small smirk on her face. Horatio got closer to her and let his hand rest on the hand she held the keys in for a fraction of a second before he put the keys in his pocket.

Yelina looked right into his eyes as she still held the gloves in her hand. Her heart shot up to her throat as she was being pulled in by the deep blue that his eyes emanated.

"Yelina?"

"Y-yes?"

Horatio grinned. "Are you okay? It's cold out here. You should go back inside. I don't want you to get sick like Ray."

"Oh...okay," Yelina said, starting to walk back to the hotel with Horatio's gloves still in her hands. When she realised she still had them, she let out an embarrassed chuckle and turned around to face him once more.

"I'm sorry," she said, rubbing his bare hands. "Your hands...they're ice cold."

Butterflies flittered in Horatio's stomach. "I...I'm fine."

Without saying a word, Yelina took each glove and put them on Horatio's hands. Once she finished, she held them loosely in her own, gently rubbing them.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay tonight?"

Horatio ducked his head. "Yes. I'll be fine. I promise."

"Okay," Yelina whispered as she gave Horatio a peck on the cheek. Horatio closed his eyes, wishing that he could have done something in return.

"Thank you," Horatio managed to mutter as Yelina walked back inside. He sighed and turned to hail a cab to take him back to a cold and empty apartment.


	5. Chapter 5

Horatio stood at the doorway to his apartment for a brief second: he had dreaded going back to it alone, but for the sake of his brother's happiness he restrained himself from asking for too much. However, a night without being alone for once sounded like a slice of heaven, and he knew Yelina would have been more than happy to keep him company.

He took a sad sigh, unlocked the door and stepped in, only to be surprised by his ex-wife patiently waiting for him on the couch.

Horatio tilted his head and looked at her curiously. "Diane?"

"Hi Horatio," she replied. "I hoped you wouldn't mind my dropping by."

Horatio took a seat next to her. "Not at all. What's going on?"

"How are you holding up?" Diane asked.

"I, uh...I'm doing all right." Horatio ducked his head.

Diane knew that Horatio avoiding her eyes meant that he was lying. "Are you sure? You aren't even looking at me."

Horatio exhaled deeply. "I, uh...I'm just surprised that you're here, that's all."

"Well...I took a new job in Los Angeles. I start next week."

Horatio snapped his head and looked straight at her. "Are you serious?"

Diane continued to look at Horatio. "Yes. I hope you don't mind, but on my resume I changed my last name back to Harmon."

"That was your decision," Horatio replied.

"Are you upset about it?" Diane asked.

Horatio smiled at her. "No, not at all. Whatever makes you happy, I'll support."

"But are _you_ happy?" Diane asked in response.

"To be honest with you, right now I'm in euphoria, but for all the wrong reasons."

"It's not Ray's fiancée, is it?"

Horatio's heart rose up to his throat. "I, uh...I...are you okay with that? I mean, we just got a divorce and all."

"Well, part of me is and part of me isn't."

"What do you mean?" Horatio asked quietly.

"Well, I still kind of have feelings for you."

Horatio put his hand on hers. "You know I still love you, Diane, but we both agreed that this marriage wasn't going to work. As much as it hurts me to say that...we can't keep hurting each other."

"I know," Diane said, close to tears. "I remember the night after your mom died when you came over to my place and we talked for hours. You had decided, in your mother's honour, that you would become a cop and try to prevent other people from having to go through what you had gone through. I knew that it would be a hard road from then on."

"And I'm grateful that you stuck it out with me for so long," Horatio replied. "It's too bad that it ended the way it did."

"Maybe it doesn't have to end that way," Diane said, her shiny eyes looking right into Horatio's.

"Diane..." Horatio squeezed her hand a little harder, his breathing becoming more laboured.

"Are you thinking about her?"

"Not right now," Horatio replied, a look of longing on his face.

Diane released her hands from Horatio's grip and, taking his head in her hands, slowly started to pull him in closer.

"Diane, are you sure you want to do this?"

"I don't want to leave without saying a proper goodbye," Diane said as her lips grabbed on to his. Horatio took them gratefully and pulled her body right up to his.

"I'm...going to...miss...you," Horatio said between kisses.

"I'll miss you even more after this," Diane said, managing to pull away for a second before continuing her assault on his lips.

Horatio picked Diane up and walked her to the bedroom she was once a familiar part of. He gently laid her on the bed, still kissing her. He pulled back to see Yelina looking up at him. Horatio gasped.

"Horatio...what's wrong?" Diane had a puzzled look on her face.

_I was just imagining things_, he told himself. "Nothing," he lied. "I just can't believe we're doing this."

Diane giggled and helped Horatio pull his shirt off.


	6. Chapter 6

_I have to pee_, Horatio told himself as he awoke the next morning. He then looked over to see if he had really done what he did.

_I really did it...I had sex with my ex-wife. My god, what have I done?_

He got out of bed and walked over to the bathroom, ashamed over what had transpired the night before. As he was about to do his business, he felt two small arms wrap around his chest.

"Good morning," Diane said wearily.

Horatio uttered a delighted hum. "Good morning," he replied.

Diane started to massage his bare chest. "I, uh, had a good time last night."

"Me too," Horatio said as he started to do his business.

Diane giggled. "Do you need help with that?"

Horatio chuckled in return. "I think I can manage this part."

Diane kissed his back. "I'm really going to miss you."

"As will I," Horatio sighed. "You'll keep in touch, right?"

"Of course. What time is it?"

"Nine."

Diane giggled again. "I am so late for work."

Horatio turned around to face her after flushing the toilet. "I'm sorry for making you late," he said.

"It's okay," Diane replied. "It was worth it."

Horatio blushed and ducked his head. "Well, I..."

Diane put a finger over Horatio's lips to silence him. "No need to explain. I should get going."

Horatio looked back up at her. "Okay then. I'll see you around?"

Diane smiled. "Absolutely."

----------

Once Diane had left for work, Horatio stepped into the shower; he too had to get ready, but not for work, for he had taken a few days off solely in anticipation for Raymond and Yelina's visit.

As the water droplets landed on his bare shoulders and matted down his hair, a shiver ran down Horatio's spine. He stood there for a minute then leaned against the shower wall, tilting his head back to look up at the ceiling.

"Why?" he asked out loud. "Why do I let her haunt me?"

As he stood against the shower wall for yet another minute, images of Yelina swirled in his head. She was so close, yet completely out of reach, and although he knew he could easily take her from Raymond, he told himself repeatedly that he wasn't the type of man who would do that. After all, Raymond was his brother and Yelina would soon be his sister-in-law.

"Oh god," Horatio continued. "I'm in love with her."

----------

Horatio stepped out of the shower and, wrapping a towel around himself, walked over to the bathroom mirror. He sighed as he wiped away the fog that obscured his view of himself in the mirror. Once he had tired of staring at his reflection, he started to comb his wet hair when a knock interrupted him midway.

When he looked through the peephole of the front door, the sight of Yelina made his heart race. When he opened the door, Yelina's raised eyebrows at the sight of him with just a towel wrapped around his body made him blush.

"Oh, Yelina, I'm...sorry. I, uh, wasn't expecting you for another couple of hours."

"I'm sorry," Yelina said. "I thought we'd get a head start."

Horatio smiled. "Sounds good. Let me finish getting ready and we can go get some lunch...my treat. How does that sound?"

"I'd like that," Yelina replied. "So...did you sleep well last night?"

Horatio swallowed hard. "I, uh...yes, I slept fine."

"Good," Yelina smiled.

"Okay, well, I'm going to...get dressed now."

"That would be a good idea," Yelina laughed.

Horatio laughed nervously, then walked back into the bathroom.


	7. Chapter 7

Sitting in a corner booth in a small restaurant down the street from Horatio's apartment, Yelina stirred her tea slowly as she watched Horatio drum the tabletop with his fingers. He was quite embarrassed that Yelina had to see him in nothing but a bath towel.

"Horatio, are you alright?"

Horatio looked up and saw Yelina smiling at him. He smiled a nervous smile back.

"I, uh...yeah, I'm fine."

Yelina desperately searched for something to talk about.

"It's stopped snowing."

"Yeah."

"But it's a very pretty sight, isn't it?"

"Oh yes."

"Horatio, what's wrong?"

Horatio felt foolish for being embarrassed about the bath towel. He knew it was bad timing on both sides.

"I'm sorry...I was just a little embarrassed that you saw me in a towel, but since you didn't see anything, why should I be?"

"True."

Horatio sighed relief. "How is Raymond doing?"

"His condition hasn't worsened, and he hasn't thrown up, so it's probably just the cold."

Horatio nodded. "That's good."

The food arrived seconds later, ending their brief yet uncomfortable conversation.

----------

The rest of the day was like a blur for Horatio; Yelina wanted to see as much as she could today, for she heard on the morning news that there was a chance for a blizzard later that evening and perhaps into the next day as well, which would certainly have hampered her plans for the rest of her time in the city. Horatio couldn't help but marvel at the way her long brown curls bounced when she walked and how her deep red lips sneaked a smile at him every now and then, which made his heart race every time. When she snuck her arm through his once again, he ducked his head and smiled.

"Yelina, you're doing it again."

"You don't mind, do you?"

Horatio chuckled. "Well, I noticed you did it again."

Yelina began to pull her arm out from his. Horatio quickly grasped her arm and pulled it back.

Yelina shot a surprised look. "Horatio, I thought you..."

"Hey, I don't mind," Horatio said, grinning.

"Horatio?" Diane called from behind them.

Horatio's heart nearly stopped and a look of shock marked his face. He slowly turned around to face Diane, who stood there with a curious look on her face.

Horatio turned red in the face. "Diane, hi."

Diane walked up to Horatio and Yelina. "And who might this be?"

Horatio sighed a deep sigh. "Oh boy. Uh, Diane, this is Yelina, Raymond's fiancée. She wanted to see the city, and Raymond's sick so I'm showing her around."

Diane shook hands with Yelina. "Hi, I'm Diane Harmon."

"Hi Diane, nice to meet you."

"So, Diane, how are things?" Horatio asked.

"Today has been great," Diane replied, smiling coyly.

"Good, good...I'm glad."

"Well, what are you two doing tonight?"

"We're going to Rockefeller tonight to go ice skating, but after that we're free."

"We should go out and celebrate, then."

"What are we celebrating?" Yelina asked Diane.

"I don't know, life? You getting married? My new job?"

"Horatio told me about your new job. That is a good cause to celebrate. I'm game if you are, Horatio."

Horatio shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

"Great! How about if I drop by your apartment at 10?"

"Sounds good," Horatio said, giving Diane a friendly hug. "I'll see you then."

Diane flashed a smile in Yelina's direction before walking in the opposite direction.

"She seems nice," Yelina said.

"Yeah," Horatio replied, offering his arm for Yelina's to slip through once again.


	8. Chapter 8

The crisp winter air reddened Horatio's cheeks as he glided down the ice in Rockefeller Center. Yelina was impressed at how well Horatio could ice skate; she had never ice skated before and was having some problems with them. Horatio noticed Yelina was trying to get the hang of the skates and gently placed his hands on her shoulders to help keep her steady.

"You got it?" Horatio asked her.

"I think I'm getting the hang of it," she replied, although she still wobbled every now and then.

Once Yelina felt completely comfortable on the ice skates, Horatio let go of her and quickly skated in front of her. He twisted around to face her, skating backwards.

"You're a very good skater," Yelina laughed.

"I spent many days here when I was younger," Horatio replied.

"Did you ever take Diane skating?"

"All the time. She loved to skate."

"Why didn't you invite her?"

"I thought it would be nice if it were just the two of us. Is that alright?"

Yelina smiled. "Of course."

Horatio reached for Yelina's hands and pulled her closer.

"What are you doing Horatio?"

"I know you can skate faster than this."

Yelina giggled and playfully tried to pull away. "No I can't Horatio."

Horatio pulled her a little too hard and she almost fell to the ice. Horatio was quick to catch her and she practically fell into his arms. Together they stopped in the middle of the skating rink and she looked into his eyes. A few seconds passed before either of them said a word.

"You, uh, almost made me fall," Yelina said softly.

"I know, and I feel really bad about that."

"Sure you do."

Horatio smiled and began to skate again, pulling her along with him.

----------

Yelina was freshening her makeup when Diane arrived at Horatio's apartment. Diane flashed a smile at Horatio as he motioned for her to enter.

"How's it going?" Horatio asked.

"Fine," Diane replied. "How was Rockefeller?"

"It was great."

Yelina emerged from Horatio's bathroom. She flashed a smile at Horatio and Diane and walked over to where they stood.

"How did you like Rockefeller, Yelina?"

"It was fun, although I had never ice skated before. Horatio helped me learn."

"That's good. You two ready?"

"Do you have a place in mind, Diane?" Horatio asked.

"I was thinking…Tony's, the bar down the street?"

"Sounds good. Are you ready Yelina?"

"Sure am."

Horatio grabbed a heavy coat and a scarf from the coat rack and put them on.

"Make sure you bundle up warm enough, Yelina. It got colder since we came back from Rockefeller."

----------

Snow was falling harder than before as the three entered the dimly-lit and smoky bar.

"Remember when Tommy and Kath had their wedding reception here?"

Horatio chuckled. "Parts of it."

Yelina couldn't help but laugh at Horatio's response. "Horatio, I didn't take you for someone who gets drunk."

Horatio ducked his head. "Well I…had my fair share of wild days in my youth."

"Alright you two, enough stalling. Let's celebrate!!!"


	9. Chapter 9

Horatio's head began to feel light after he downed his fifth beer. He hadn't eaten much that whole day, and the empty stomach combined with all of the alcohol he had consumed started to get to his head. Yelina, who was taking her time with her beer, noticed this.

"Horatio, you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, just a little…light-headed," Horatio replied.

"Just take it easy, okay?" Diane warned, still unfazed by the two beers she had that night.

"Yeah."

Yelina wrapped her arm around Horatio.

"I don't want to have to nurse you if you get too drunk."

Horatio savoured in the fact that she was so close to him. Diane got a little jealous when she saw Yelina's proximity and put her arm around him as well. Yelina shot a glare at Diane and pulled her arm back.

----------

As the night wore on, both Horatio and Yelina became drunker. Yelina wanted more and more to grab Horatio and plant a wet kiss on his lips, but she became reminded of the man she was to marry every time she looked into his face and it made her more upset as time wore on.

Music played into the night on the beer-drenched jukebox and after awhile, Yelina felt compelled to drag Horatio up from his barstool to dance. She was too slow to ask because Diane beat her to it and picked up the smashed Horatio to dance.

"Come on, you, let's see if you still got it," Diane said as she pulled him close and led him in a drunken promenade around the bar. Yelina watched on jealously.

A stranger approached Yelina and sat next to her.

"Hey, are you gonna let her do that to you?" the stranger asked.

"What do you mean?" Yelina replied.

"Take your man from you."

"Oh," Yelina said surprised. "He's not 'my man'. I just wish he were."

"What's stopping you from having him?"

"I don't know," Yelina lied. "I guess I'm just nervous." She didn't want to admit to herself and the stranger that she was engaged to his brother.

"Well, don't be nervous for too long, or else you'll end up regretting the outcome."

Yelina nodded her head. The alcohol was telling her to risk everything that she had for a dance with the man that she was in love with but could never have as long as she was with his brother.

When Diane and Horatio danced their way back over to where Yelina sat, she stood up and took Horatio into her arms, leaving a scowling Diane behind.

Yelina's heart raced when she looked into Horatio's glazed eyes. He looked so helpless and she felt bad for wanting to exploit that.

"Yelina…"

Yelina held his hands tighter and smiled.

"What are you…what are you smiling about?" Horatio asked.

"You're so cute when you're drunk," she replied.

Horatio blushed and ducked his head.

"I…I…"

Yelina grinned and squeezed his arm. Horatio pulled her in closer, partly because he needed more support or he would fall over and partly because he wanted her closer.

"Are you sure we should be doing this?" Yelina asked.

"Doing what?" Horatio replied.

"Dancing like this. I have a fiancé, you know."

Horatio ducked his head in shame. He knew he had messed up again. He gently pushed her back again and started to stumble away. Yelina was quick to grab him by the shirt and pulled him back.

"I…I'm sorry. I…I made a…mistake."

"No…it's okay. You did nothing wrong," Yelina said. Horatio tried to pull away again. "Horatio…"

"I…can't do…this…"

He pulled his shirt from her hands and ran out of the bar. Yelina looked over and saw that Diane was visibly angry.

"What the hell did you do that for?" Diane screamed as she approached Yelina.

"I didn't do anything," Yelina screamed back. Diane pushed her.

"You ruined EVERYTHING," Diane said. "I was going to win him back, but you had to come in with your long legs and your…"

"I've had enough of this," Yelina muttered, and ran out of the bar, hoping to catch up with Horatio.

Yelina looked in all directions but had a hard time seeing in the sheets of snow that fell around her. She ran in the direction of Horatio's apartment and saw him stumbling along the sidewalk.

"Horatio," Yelina yelled. She continued to run toward him but neglected to see the ice on the freshly shoveled sidewalk and slipped. Horatio turned around upon hearing a yelp of pain uttered behind him. Although the world seemed to be spinning around him, it was as if tunnel vision had centered on Yelina who lay on the sidewalk. He spun around and ran toward her.

"Ye…lina," Horatio muttered. "Are you all right?"

He stopped in front of her feet and kneeled to her side.

"I'm fine," Yelina smiled. "I just skinned my knee, that's all."

Horatio breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm glad…that it's just that."

Yelina stared at Horatio for a brief moment before Horatio offered his hand to pull her up. When she got to her feet, she pulled him close and kissed him. Horatio stopped fighting and returned the kiss. Diane ran out of the bar and looked around until she saw the kissing figures in the distance. Tears filled her eyes and she ran back into the bar.

Horatio pulled away and caressed her cheek with his cold hands. Although she was shivering, she didn't mind. She grasped his head with her cold hands and he leaned his head against hers. She moved her hands to wrap around his body and felt his sobs against her body.

"I wish…it weren't like this…"

"I know," Yelina replied. "If only I had met you first…"

"I don't think I can live…like this."

"Let's go inside before we get sick…"


	10. Chapter 10

Horatio practically fell into his apartment after fumbling to get it open. Yelina was quick to catch him by his shirt. She couldn't help but giggle.

Horatio grinned. "What?"

Yelina guided his head closer to hers by her index finger. "You're so cute when you're vulnerable."

Horatio ducked his head and smiled. "Yelina, are you sure you…want to do this?"

"I just want to…see what it's like. You know, being with you?"

Horatio's heart raced and he was breathing heavily. "Yelina," he gasped.

Yelina shushed him and placed a hand over his heart. She briefly rubbed his chest.

"Your heart," Yelina whispered.

"What about it?"

"Am I doing this to you? Am I making you nervous?"

"No," Horatio answered, "you're making…me happy. What you do to me, Yelina…you're incredible. You're beautiful. You're…"

"Let's…continue this in your bedroom. Okay?"

Horatio silently nodded. "Okay."

----------

Horatio tried to catch his breath as he groggily turned the lamp on. He shifted to lie on his side and looked over at Yelina, who lay on her back. She turned her head over and looked at him.

"So…how was I?" Horatio asked.

"You…were excellent," Yelina remarked.

Horatio looked at her with sad eyes. "I just wish…it was all different."

Yelina rubbed his bare shoulder. "I know. Sometimes I wonder if I'm marrying the right person."

Horatio stared at the gentle and soft hand that grazed across his naked chest. "I just…don't know what I'm going to do now."

"I know. I'm feeling the same way."

Horatio sighed.

Yelina ran her hand through his messy hair. "You're beautiful."

Horatio smiled and grabbed her hand. "So are you."

Horatio and Yelina fell asleep holding hands and silently staring at each other.

----------

The sun shone brightly in the bedroom the next morning when Horatio got up to shower. Yelina sat up and watched as his naked form walked into the bathroom. She took the liberty of joining him and tiptoed behind him as he proceeded to use the restroom. Horatio jumped and almost missed the toilet when she rubbed his back.

"You scared me," Horatio laughed.

"Sorry," Yelina replied. "I guess trying to surprise you when you're using the toilet wasn't the best of ideas."

Horatio finished his business and turned around to face her.

"This…is going to be awkward, I hope you know that."

"I do," Yelina replied, "but I don't care. I just wanted to be with you, even for one night."

Horatio nodded. "I'm going to take a shower. If you want to…"

"…Yes."

Horatio grinned and took Yelina's hand, guiding her toward the shower.


	11. Chapter 11

Horatio stared out into the brilliant white that blanketed the city streets outside. Yelina stood a few feet away, unable to think of anything to say.

"Horatio," Yelina whispered, "I…"

"No," Horatio replied. "You need to go to Raymond soon. He's probably worried."

Yelina approached Horatio and placed her hand softly on his shoulder. "Are you regretting what we did?"

Horatio sighed deeply. "No…never. I'm just…confused, I guess."

"Or guilty," Yelina added.

Horatio turned to face her. "About what?"

Yelina briefly pursed her lips. "Maybe you feel guilty about sleeping with your brother's fiancée."

"Well, I do feel guilty, yes. But I don't blame it on you. You mean more to me than that."

Yelina smiled. "I know that, but I also know that you care about your brother."

"Which is why you need to go to him, Yelina."

Yelina grabbed Horatio's hand and gripped it firmly. "Am I making the right choice, Horatio?"

Horatio tilted his head and stared into her. "Do you think you are?"

Yelina ducked her head in confusion. "I…don't know. I do know that I feel really…strongly about you."

"And I…I feel like I could hold you forever."

"But we can't do this, Horatio."

"I know. That's why you need to go back to Raymond soon. You really have no choice."

Yelina nodded and wiped away a tear. Leaning close to Horatio she kissed his cheek and planted her hand on his stomach.

"Okay then," Yelina said. Horatio put his hand over Yelina's and rubbed it gently with his thumb.

Horatio pulled Yelina close for one final long kiss.

"You'll be seeing us off at the airport, right?" Yelina asked.

"Of course," Horatio smiled sadly.

"Okay," Yelina whispered. She waved goodbye and walked out to where her taxi waited out in the front of the building. Horatio watched Yelina climb into the taxi and as it drove out of sight, tears welled in his eyes and he pulled himself away from the window.

----------

Miami, present day

"Horatio?"

Horatio glanced up from his paperwork to see Calleigh standing in front of his desk with a file from a recently solved crime.

"Calleigh, hey."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah…I just spaced out." He didn't know how long he sat at his desk recalling his rendez-vous with Yelina, but he figured he daydreamed for at least an hour because his right foot was falling asleep. He didn't feel so guilty about it because the only crime they were working on that day was solved in thirty minutes when the shooter turned himself in.

"Well, here's my report on the Smith shooting."

"Thank you, Calleigh." Horatio looked out of the window in his office to see that the sun was beginning to set. "Have a good evening."

"You too, Horatio. Good night."

----------

The fading sunlight continued to illuminate the now-purpling sky when Horatio stepped out of the crime lab for the final time that day. Yet another day at work was finally over and Horatio was relieved. He couldn't wait to get home, kick off his shoes and lay on the couch to rest.

Horatio unlocked the front door to his quaint house and threw his suit jacket on the arm of the couch. He removed his shoes and took off his dress shirt, revealing a tight-fitting white t-shirt. Plopping down on the couch, Horatio turned on the TV, trying to find something to watch.

After awhile, Horatio began to doze off and turned to lie on the couch. Just as he had closed his eyes, a knock at the door roused him back to his feet. When he opened the door and saw Yelina standing there, Horatio smiled and motioned for her to enter.

"Horatio," Yelina said in greeting. Her heart fluttered at the sight of Horatio in a tight undershirt.

"Yelina," Horatio returned.

"I figured you'd like some company."

"I'd like that."

"Bad day?" Yelina asked, referring to his undershirt and tussled hair courtesy of the makeshift pillows he fashioned from the decorative cushions on his couch.

Horatio grinned and ran his fingers through his hair. "Um, yeah…I guess you could say that." He didn't want to admit to her that he spent a few hours earlier that day recalling those life-changing days immediately after meeting Yelina so long ago.

"Did I wake you up?"

"Nah…I was just about to take a nap."

"Oh, okay."

"I'm glad you dropped by."

"Ray Jr.'s at a friend's house and I was getting lonely, and I figured you weren't doing anything, so…"

"You don't have to explain yourself," Horatio said as he put his hand on her shoulder. "I'm happy you're here."

Yelina smiled and sat down on the couch. Horatio soon joined her.

Yelina could sense that something was occupying Horatio's thoughts. "Is everything okay, Horatio?" she asked.

Horatio stared at her. "I, uh…"

Yelina grinned and stared down at her feet. "That usually means yes."

Horatio continued to look at her. "Well, today at work…I did a little daydreaming, I guess you could say."

"About what?"

"The time we…hooked up."

"When we first met? And Raymond was sick?"

Horatio nodded.

Yelina had a look of confusion on her face when she finally looked up at Horatio. "And what brought that on?"

"It was a slow day, and…I don't know…it just came to my mind."

"And what did you feel about it?"

"Well as much as I was happy for Raymond settling down, I wanted more than anything to be with you, and it hurt sometimes to see you with him."

"I had a feeling you did. Sometimes I felt guilty because I always knew how you felt about me, ever since that night we waited out that blizzard, lying next to each other in your bed…"

"…keeping each other warm," Horatio added.

Yelina blushed at the memory. "I felt so safe in your arms. I never felt that way with Raymond."

Horatio half-nodded.

"Horatio…"

"Mmm hmm?"

"Why do we keep doing this to each other?"

"Doing what?"

"Delaying the inevitable."

"Maybe we're afraid of what might happen."

"Why should we be afraid? Let's face it, Horatio…we need each other, especially now. Ever since Raymond died, I've become so insecure, so…scared."

Horatio swallowed hard and started to rub Yelina's back with his hand. Tears began to well in his eyes.

"Yelina," Horatio whispered. "I'm…scared too. Everything's been…so hard. And it's even harder going it alone."

"Then what are waiting for?"

Horatio smiled. "What _are _we waiting for?"

Yelina smiled excitedly and pulled Horatio in for a kiss. After they finally pulled away, Horatio breathed a sigh of relief.

"I haven't been kissed like that since…"

"…the last time we kissed?" Yelina finished with a wink.

Horatio ducked his head. "Actually…yes."

"So what do we do now?"

Horatio gathered Yelina into his arms. "Whatever does happen, we'll do it together."

Fin.


End file.
